The Tale of the Renegade Poo
Once upon a time (last weekend sometime), a handsome non-prince named Dad changed the diaper of a chubby-cheeked chile named Hannah. There was a relatively small (the size of a plum maybe but more elongated) solid poo in said diaper so the non-prince laid the diaper on top of the diaper pail rather than inside, presumably with the intention of properly disposing of said poo in the toilet at a later time. A few hours later, a non-princess who goes by the name of Mama changed the chile's wet diaper and, wishing to put this diaper INSIDE the diaper pail, lifted up the diaper that Dad previously placed on the lid of the pail. Not knowing there was a little poo hiding inside, Mama lifted the diaper non too carefully which caused the little poo to launch out of the diaper, out of the door to the chile's room, and into the hallway. Now Mama, who has had some anger management issues since the birth of the little chile, screamed at the non-prince "EHH-RIC!!" (this is what the Mama calls the Dad) who rushed upstairs to see what was the matter. The Mama explained what happened and asked the Dad to kindly finish the job he started earlier and dispose of the renegade poo which was now halfway to the toilet on its own accord. This caused both the Mama and the Dad to laugh out loud while the Dad grabbed some toilet paper, plucked the poo from the hallway carpet, and dropped it into the toilet. The End.
So the cool thing about Hannah's poops are that they have gotten much more solid and have therefore made cloth diapering even easier to clean up. We can just take those bad boys right to the toilet, shake 'em in, and flush 'em down. About once a week or so she'll have a massive poop that is sorta solid but also incredibly mushy and smells like....well, like the stinkiest sh** you've ever smelled in your life and makes both me and Eric dry heave (we try to tackle those as a team). Those poops are a huge pain to dislodge from the diaper. Shaking doesn't cut it which sucks because you want to get that poop as far away from you as possible as quickly as possible so we end up having to use toilet paper to kinda wipe it away. I keep thinking that a scraping device (much like a plastic knife) might work well, but that just seems wasteful and anyway, you can't flush a knife and who wants a trash can full of poopy knives? So we suck it up.
um. who starts a sentence with " so the cool thing about hannah's poops are...?"ReplyDelete
this is an amazing story. i laughed. i winced. i laughed again.
what's also funny is that you told me this story when, upon returning to bananar's room where we were playing, you screamed "IS THAT A POO!!!??" (which scared the crap out of me) and the "poo" was only one of hannah's little dolls from amy. hannah and i were both really upset that you thought her baby was a poo. shame, terri.
Yucky Poo! From a different perspective,I give Eric a lot of points for changing Hannah. I know many Dad's are zero involved. :)ReplyDelete
Yep, Eric is a great dad to say the least, but you know, I wouldn't have married him if he weren't. Back in my crazy single dating days, I decided what I wanted in a husband and the number 1 thing on the list was "team player," someone who liked making my life easier and vice versa. Changing diapers is just one of many tasks that Eric does that makes him a team player and qualifies him as husband material in my book. And in addition to the many other menial tasks that we work together to stay on top of, he laughs at my silly jokes, finds my obsession with organization adorable (usually), supports my sanity by helping me make the time to go to the gym, and regularly inspires me to chill out, forget the chores, and enjoy the few opportunities we have to be lazy couch potatos. Yep, I did pretty well. I'm glad I stuck to my standards and refused to settle for anything less.ReplyDelete
did you catch my parathensis poo pun?ReplyDelete
hehehehe!! who doesn't love a good poo pun???ReplyDelete
Love it. Looking at the great scheme of life..Eric is a great guy. We are thankful for both of you.ReplyDelete
On a lighter note and because I love to match books to stories, Pooh Bear comes to mind. Heehee.