"Verbal First Aid"

Now that the family reunion is over, I'm taking a day of rest. My goal is to edit my Michigan photos and get them posted (then I can start working on the family reunion pics and post them too...), but I'm getting around to that goal slowly because I'm TIRED!  And because I got distracted reading emails, including this article that my mom emailed to me called Verbal First Aid: Healing Children's Pain and Fear with Words by Judith Acosta.  I found it quite interesting and wanted to share. I wouldn't mind reading Acosta's book once I get through Raising Your Spirited Child and also Raising a Daughter (both of which I'm about a quarter of the way into).

Here are some takeaways from the Verbal First Aid article:

"The research on attachment and child development has been showing that this sensitivity is more than "emotional" in the colloquial sense. It is neurologic. What babies feel becomes the fuel for synaptic hard-wiring. Their brains are formed by their experiences, not just by their genetics. Those experiences are mostly dependent on the nature of their relationships with those around them."

"That is not something any of us are born with. Children need adults to regulate their emotional arousal so that a traumatic event (a nightmare, a fall, an illness) is encoded in a way that promotes a healthy concept of themselves and their ability to survive. What this means is that emotion and healthy thinking have to occur at the same time so that the brain (or neural net, as attachment experts are calling it) is wired for safety.

"Verbal First Aid is a way of using ordinary language to facilitate these processes in children so that those experiences are embedded in the healthiest way possible."

I think I'll close my eyes for the last few minutes of Hannah's morning nap....A fun time photo dump is on it's way, promise....

Happy 1st Birthday Hannah!!!!

Hannah's first birthday was relatively uneventful as we spent most of today running from Whole Foods to the Farmer's Market to Trader Joe's to the Giant, both to restock the fridge after our week in Michigan and also to prepare for my family reunion which is on Saturday.  I did manage to do some research and find a couple of carrot cake recipes that I'm going to adapt (I don't want her to have sugar) so she will have some cake, but just not on her actual birthday. I feel a little guilty that we didn't do anything special today, but I don't think I should feel guilty. I'm constantly moving celebrations around to suit everyone's schedule and rarely celebrate my own birthday on the actual day, so it's not like I'm doing anything to her that I don't do to myself.  And anyway, she's kind of had a whole week of celebrations.  We returned from a week in Michigan just before dinner yesterday (those photos are forthcoming in the next couple of days).  While there, we all went to the toy store to play and let Hannah pick out some toys.  Then Grannah and Granpah took the family out for dinner and then back to Uncle Justin's to open presents. Since my family reunion is Saturday, I'll bring healthy carrot cupcakes and we'll do a bit of a celebration there too.  Regardless, I still feel a bit guilty so next year I'm not scheduling anything on the week of her birthday so that I can make sure we do something more exciting than grocery shopping.

I haven't had a chance to edit the majority of the Michigan photos, but I did fix up the ones that had to do with celebrating her birthday.  I didn't have my camera in the toy store so props to Uncle Justin for these pics.

Uncle Justin ended up buying her this cash register. She liked pushing the buttons to make the drawer pop up and then pushing the drawer back in.

Grannah and Granpah bought Hannah this super cool shopping cart since pushing stuff around is her favorite activity.  She pushed this cart all around the store. (Eric almost bought the monster, but refrained.)

For some reason the birthday dinner photos aren't uploading. I guess Blogger is busy this time of day...I'm giving up and will just include them in the upcoming enormous Michigan post.

Fast forward to today.  Here's Hannah opening a birthday card that came in the mail.

Grammy sent her $5 to put in the piggy bank that she bought for Hannah for Christmas.  This picture is an illusion. I put the bill halfway through the slot and then snapped the pic right as Hannah was pulling it out so that it would look like she was putting the money in the bank.  Hehehe.

And here's another game of "whose features did Hannah inherit" (I love this game!).  I think she's looking a lot like Eric these days.  The funny thing is that people who see us together always think she looks exactly like me, but if you go back and look at these photos of me and Eric at the same age, she really favors Eric. Of course, it's hard to see my face amidst the icing....

This post wouldn't be complete without a "this time last year" shot (actually, I don't have any photos of her in the hospital so she's 2 days old in this one).

When I was pregnant, everything felt surreal.  I was certain that reality would hit when I held her in my arms for the first time, but it didn't.  I spent the first 6 months or so in a haze, sleep deprived, unsure of why my baby wouldn't just fall asleep when she was tired instead of spending hours screaming her lungs out, and often pretty angry at the seeming unfairness of being a mom versus being a dad.  Then something clicked (that something had a lot to do with reading the Sleep Lady's book) just before 6 months, and Hannah stopped screaming every night before bed, and she stopped waking up in the middle of the night, and I started getting some sleep and feeling normal again. She got happier and so did I (and as a result, so did Eric).  We even settled into a workable routine that enabled me to know when my free time windows were and start planning around them.

Her physical changes are astounding.  She won't go in for her 1-year checkup until the end of the month so I don't have those stats, but she's more than doubled her weight, grew 8 teeth (the last two broke through this past month), and learned to move and shake and tumble and climb up AND DOWN the stairs and is even starting to get her legs under her and doing a teeny bit of walking (though she hasn't repeated that 10-1/2 foot walk). She learned how to make us laugh and LOVES doing it, and she's making noises that sound like they might be words (kitty, easy, kaya, hi, mama), though nothing is quite clear yet.

Getting to know Hannah has been a challenge because mothering her didn't follow any instinct that I had.  I assumed she would sleep when she was tired, eat when she was hungry, and cry only when she needed something.  I knew that being a parent would be hard, but I had no clue just how hard it was going to be. In research I did a few months ago, I came across the book  Raising Your Spirited Child (I mentioned it on a blog post, but am not sure which now) and wondered if it might shed some light on the subject.  The library has had it on hold since then, but lucky for me, Grannah bought it and let me borrow it so I'm reading it now.  I see Hannah all over those pages.  More energetic, intense, dramatic, persistent....In short, more WORK, but also more reward.  I've always believed that nothing worth having ever came easy. Granted, I can never HAVE Hannah, but I think that idea still applies to some extent.  I'm glad she's making me work; I like a good challenge, and I think I'm doing pretty well with it.  As her personality unfolds, I become more and more enraptured and in love with her.  She's amazing.  Cheers to many more birthdays!!

August 1....Last Year

We drove to St. Michael's last year the weekend before Hannah was born for Amy's and Nate's wedding.  We got back home on Sunday, I spent Monday trying to get ready for Hannah, and then my water broke on Tuesday so I never got to upload any pics from the wedding.  I wanted to do another "This Time Last Year" post, but lost track of the days....Anyway, I didn't really get any good pics--lots of people's heads in front of the bride and groom and lots of bad coloring due to flash and dim lights and an inexperienced photographer.  So here are just a few....These are the last preggo belly pics of me! 

Hannah kicked right when Vicki went in for a belly feel, hence the shocked face.

The happy, beautiful couple!  I love the way she looks at him; it's so movie-like.

More than a Few Steps

Hannah walked 10-1/2 feet today!!! Yes, we measured, we had to because it was amazing and the farthest she has ever walked and because we missed her first couple of steps and were therefore unable to count. (Her previous record: 7 steps.)

More later....

Hannah Pushes the Stroller...All the Way Home

My dad came to visit yesterday afternoon while Sondra attended an event at Camden Yards.  Since it's been eons since we'd spent any daddy/daughter time together, Eric offered to hang back when I suggested that we all walk to the playground.  Since the playground is seven blocks away, we got plenty of time to talk and catch up on the way there, and once there, he transitioned from Dad to very happy Grandpap, and I transitioned from daughter to trigger-happy mamarazzi.  Unfortunately, most of my photos, including those on the swing and sliding board, are extremely overexposed.  Here's what I could salvage:

I'm pretty sure I mentioned Hannah's pension for pushing her stroller around the house.  She also likes to push it around the playground.  Yesterday, rather than put her back in the stroller for the walk home, I steered her up off the mulch and onto the sidewalk in the direction of home, figuring I'd let her exercise her legs until she got tired.  Well, she didn't get tired. She pushed that stroller the whole way home.  She tripped a couple of times and landed on her knees, but refused the snuggle and comfort Pappy tried to provide, forcefully squiggling her way out of his arms and back to her position behind the stroller.  At green lights I held up her sippy cup so she could drink from it without removing her hands from the stroller. Her cheeks were flushed when we got home, but she seemed as alert as ever in spite of having walked seven blocks.  Seven! I think that's crazy.  And amazing. Maybe she'll grow up to be a super hero like Wonder Woman or something.